Go ahead and give it to me — The Bad Mom Award — cause I won it this morning. WARNING: If you are squeamish or eating something now you may not want to read further.
Took Girl to the doctor yesterday because she’s been having tummy issues. Urine test (easy enough), stomach x-ray (just got to show up), and stool sample (whoa).
Me: Uh…exactly how does that work?
Dr: We’ll send a hat that fits over the toilet seat home and then these three containers and you just transfer from the hat to the containers and then bring the containers back to us.
Me: Okay. (I’m already mentally gagging and whining that sometimes you just don’t want to step up to the plate and do these gross Mommy things.)
I’ll have to say that Girl is a mix of indepence and mommy-cling. Thank goodness for the indepence this morning. It was hat time. I swear I tried not to look too horrified but I guess I wasn’t very successful (I’m no actress for sure, usually what I think is written all over my face) despite the fact that I’d given myself the silent rah-rah talk that it was simply matter and nurses dealt with this, and far worse, all the time.
Girl: It’s okay, Mom. I can handle this.
Me: I can do it.
Girl: Really, Mom, you don’t have to.
Me: You understand how it works.
Girl: Uh-huh. I’ll take care of it.
Me: You’re sure?
Girl: I’m sure.
I practically ran from the room and left my child to deal with the hat and those little bottles. :dog: There’s a reason I’m not a nurse — I would suck at it.:cocktail: (See, the idea alone makes me want to have a drink.)
So…I’m granting myself the BAD MOM AWARD.
If you are a bad mom, then I will join in with you. That’s not my cup of tea either. If, when or should anyone around me get a cut, gash or any blood related whatever, PLEASE do not call me for HELP. You will be so out of luck. I have tried to give fair warning to anyone I work with or live around. NURSE I am NOT. Even for my son and yes, he is very aware of this. So there, have a wonderful Wednesday. :thumbsup:
Comment by Ginger — November 29, 2006 @ 10:41 am
oh gosh. :)
Comment by kim — November 29, 2006 @ 10:47 am
Alright, Ginger! You get the honorary BMA. :thankyou:
Hi,Kim! :wave:
Comment by Jennifer — November 29, 2006 @ 11:47 am
Well, I’m just glad someone else gets the Golden Coathanger* award for once. But after a certain age, children should be responsible for their own poop.
But to this day, I cannot, will not, shall not vomit in the vicinity of my mother. That’s her hard-and-fast rule.
(*Mommie Dearest reference)
Comment by Kimberly — November 29, 2006 @ 12:31 pm
I’ll take the honary BMA. No shame on my part, just honesty. :thankyou:
Comment by Ginger — November 29, 2006 @ 3:58 pm
LOL, Kimberly. Yeah, I’d just as soon avoid pukeage myself. Ginger, I’ll hold my head up high with my award as well.
Comment by Jennifer — November 29, 2006 @ 5:38 pm
Jen - You are not a bad Mom - but you do have a terrific daughter! :thumbsup: Mine would not even pee in a cup at the age of ten. She said it was too weird.
I totally agree with Kimberly - ‘by a certain age, children should be responsible for their own poop!’
And for us as parents, it is good to be aware of our own limitations! :?
Comment by Ellen — November 29, 2006 @ 8:16 pm
LOL, Ellen! She is a GREAT kid…most of the time. :love2:
Comment by Jennifer — November 29, 2006 @ 9:31 pm
I had to do this with #1 son when he was in middle school. But all we had to do was find a clean Cool Whip container and then keep said container in the fridge til I could get home from work and transport it to the lab.
#1 son was NOT thrilled at having to poop in a container. And I told him PLEASE put a note on it so no one would open it by mistake.
Oh the things we do in the name of motherhood.
Marilyn
P.S. Did you find Jesus yet?
Comment by Marilyn — December 2, 2006 @ 9:50 pm
Marilyn…the cool whip container…unmarked. :happy2: :happy2: :happy2: And..uh, no Baby Jesus sighting yet.
Comment by Jennifer — December 4, 2006 @ 8:59 am