We did take a few days of vacation last week which is always…interesting in that the DH and I don’t usually spend that much time together. The things that come out of his mouth constantly amaze me and I’m often struck by his weird rationale.
More often than not I’m left wondering, “Do we actually inhabit the same planet, much less the same house?”
So, much like taking a circus act on the road, I thought I would share with you some of his DH-isms from the weekend.
DH is preparing to take Girl trout fishing. He hands her a camaflouge shirt.
DH: Try that on.
Me: Uh…am I confused? I thought we were going fishing.
DH: We are.
Me: Why does she need to wear camaflouge to fish?
DH: Because if the fish see her shadow in the water, it’ll spook’em.
Me: Let me get this straight…she’s wearing camaflouge so her shadow doesn’t spook the fish?
DH: Yeah.
Me: How the hell does camaflouge keep her from casting a shadow?
DH: It does. It works.
:happy2::wallbash::happy2:
Dh-ism #1: Camaflouge keeps fisherpeople from casting spook-inducing shadows on the trout stream.
Next insight. The DH walks into the room after a shower. I’ve got the brush in my hand and his hair is sticking up, so I reached over and brushed his hair into place, something I never do. Guess it’s a good thing. He walks by a mirror and yelps.
DH: What’ve you done to my hair?
Me: Huh? (Trust me, there’s not that much of it, so it’s darn hard to do much of anything.)
DH: You combed it in the wrong direction. I never part it on that side. That’s the side that girl’s part their hair on. You’ve parted my hair on the Girl side.
The Girl and I exchange a look as he’s frantically parting and brushing it the other way.
DH-ism #2: Parting a man’s hair on the “wrong” side can apparently totally emasculate him.
Oh, the power of a brush.:twisted: And unfortunately I can’t remember which side is which so now I’m tied up in knots cause maybe my hair is parted on “the man side.” 8O
And the final wisdom of my better half. We’re trout fishing at a stream. Well, they’re trout fishing and I’m watching. And getting bored after my nap on the stream bank. And it’s cold. So, I start talking and fooling around with little tiny rocks. I’ve discovered that my aim is quite good and I can nail both DH and the Girl.
DH: Jennifer, you’ve got to be quiet. We’re dealing with wild trout here. These are some smart fish and they spook easy. You’ve got to be quiet because these fish are wild.
As opposed to what? Tame trout? Pet trout? Oh, okay.
Care to share any weird-isms from your friends/family?
Priceless, Jen! Too funny!
Comment by Rhonda — February 26, 2007 @ 9:30 am
Yeah… too funny.
I don’t have anything from friends or family that I can think of right now, but when I’m at Walmart and they announce “CSM to Live Pets” I always mumble “Do they have a ‘Dead Pets’ department?”
Comment by Marilyn — February 26, 2007 @ 9:55 am
:happy2: :happy2: :happy2:
Hilarious! Unfortunately(?)none of our weirdisms would be as funny as yours… thanks for sharing!!
PS - Did you/they catch anything?
Comment by Ellen — February 26, 2007 @ 9:55 am
Rhonda, I can’t remember if he was this crazy when I married him or if living with me has made him this way.
LOL, Marilyn. That kind of stuff cracks me up.
Well, Ellen, they caught a rock fish, a tree fish, and a stick fish…as in they got snagged on all of the above. We stopped in at the Applewood Restaurant where I ordered grilled trout for dinner bacause we all had a taste on for it at that point. DH says, “I’m sorry we’re having to eat trout out.” Let’s see… deciding on my two side orders from a menu as opposed to standing in the condo kitchen and cooking …I was good with that.
Comment by Jennifer — February 26, 2007 @ 10:11 am
DG is half Vulcan, so everything must be completely logical or else I’m labeled totally insane.
Seems I’m insane often, ’cause my world doesn’t always have logic. Or rhyme. Or reason.
And I’m okay with that :lol:
(And if I’m always the insane one, at least I can drive DG a bit crazy in the process. :devil:
Comment by Kimberly — February 26, 2007 @ 11:04 am
Jen, you are hilarious. I am glad that you took your vacation after all. :)
Comment by Barbara — February 26, 2007 @ 11:19 am
Okay, here’s one for you. I myself am rather gifted upstairs with THE girls (boobs). So why do bra makers add lots of padding for someone like me? I have plenty and don’t need ANY padding. Go figure. Loved your stories about DH-isms. Enjoy our beautiful Monday.
Comment by Ginger — February 26, 2007 @ 11:45 am
LOL, Kimberly. I’m always so pleased when the DH tells me I’ve annoyed him.
He makes me crazy on a regular basis.
I’m glad we went as well, Barbara. We had a good time. :cooldance:
Ginger, I know what you mean. More support, less padding. :thumbsup:
Comment by Jennifer — February 26, 2007 @ 12:05 pm
Hee hee hee! I love the hair-parting DH-ism! Oh, man, I’m still chuckling over that one.
Thanks for the laugh today, Jen! :mrgreen:
Comment by Kris Starr — February 27, 2007 @ 11:01 am
Glad to oblige, Kris! Now do you have a “man” part or a “girl” part? (boy, did that ever come off as a loaded question. :mrgreen:
Comment by Jennifer — February 27, 2007 @ 11:39 am