I love my car. I don’t just like it–I really love it. I’m attached to it to an obscene degree. I’m sure to feel this way about an inanimate object is a sin in most major religions. So….I knew I was in trouble when we went to see the movie Are We There Yet? This guy has this gorgeous new Lincoln Navigator (not my fave car, but I can relate to how much he loves this car), he sees this really hot chick and in a moment of misguided lust agrees to transport her two demon spawn.
Having seen the trailers, I didn’t exactly have to be a girl genius to see where this was going. So, sad but true, bit by bit, scene by scene, they destroyed this vehicle. It was painful and frustrating. He should’ve just said no.
I know all about lust and love. I write it on a pretty-much daily basis. Trust me, no human object of desire’s worth sacrificing your vehicle. Let’s say, for hypothesis sake, that I’m not married. Now, let’s suppose Liam Neeson or Ken Watanabe or Toby Keith or that lovely Viggo Mortensen asked me to haul their kid somewhere in my car (we’re supposing they have kids–I don’t know). Okay, I’d sign on hoping to impress. BUT, when said kid pulled out a juice box or soda or touched my radio. Errrrk. (That’s the screech of tires and brakes.) Forget it, kid. Not in my car. They’d be so out of there.
So, remember, it’s one thing to see it in the movies or read about it in a book, but that’s fiction. In real life, it’s just not worth it. Never sacrifice your car for true love. Instead go get a wash and wax.
Jen
